Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Unmet Expectations....

The more I am involved with people and relationships the more clarity I gain about certain human behaviors. One such interaction deals with frustration around unmet expectations. It doesn't make a difference if your dealing with a spouse, co-worker or volunteer; relationships cause frustration. Often the point of contention boils down to one person expecting something that doesn't happen or happens in a way that's different that what they anticipated. If you're on the giving or receiving end of expectations there are a few things that can help reduce the amount of frustration:
1. Develop a job description, work through role clarification and write down the total sum of expectations. Sounds crazy, but a job description for a husband or wife is not a bad idea.
2. Talk through and clarify each and every expectation. Take your time and don't rush the process.
3. Share the last 10%, don't hold things back because of fear.
4. If you dealing with someone who continually becomes frustrated due to expectations they haven't verbalized going unmet has more to do with their insecurities than something you've done wrong. Coach the person and walk with them through the process, but if coaching doesn't help - find a new friend.
5. Before you become frustrated about someone else not meeting your expectations, make a list of expectations that God has for you. It automatically puts you in a place of humility and much more likely to extend grace.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Your words are so awesome....I am so thankful for a wonderful encourager like you....this is the best church FAMILY ever!!! Thank you for being so transparent and allowing God to use you in such an amazing way....at Elevation I do feel like we are all parts of the ONE body of christ....Thank you!!!!
Danielle C Helms